| | This is in honor of everything beginning.
I feel in an asylum. Why can't I just pack those bags of mine, already?
They're a sly set; dusty, tea-time blue. French blue. I even have to
personify my luggage. I have to personify everything I wear, too.
Today I wore orange lipstick and green jade beads. Of course, I didn't
go anywhere. I just wandered around my room, walking in perfect circles
amongst all the junk on the floor, and I pretended to have a pack-a-day
clove habit. I threw my arm out, and pinched my index and middle finger
together, just so. You have to give me credit - I wore coral colored
lipstick to every single day of the eigth grade. Sometimes, I think
about that kind of thing, and I get really really proud of myself, as
opposed to embarressed. I think it all has to do with how much coffee
I've had that day.
I am trying to go vegan. Just to experiment, you know? I don't think
it'll last more than a few years, but I'm not too concerned, just as
long as I'm vegetarian until my dying day. I figured out that toast
with jam is vegan......right? I'm afraid that they're slipping cow
parts into everything these days. Diet coke is vegan, coffee is
vegan........ I can live, I can live.
I will chuckle and play solo George Harrison records the whole night through.
Apples, those are vegan. No sheep in them. Pears, too, I have a
pear-shaped body, but......I am olive colored. Confusing, right? You'll
live. I hate the taste of olives, but the color is suiting. Yes, a suit
that covers every inch.
We can't escape ourselves. And why would we? I told my sister bitterly
over the phone today that I am never spending another summer with my
parents. She asked why. I thought it was sort of obvious. Two days post
graduation, and I am in excrutiating pain!!! She thinks I can't get out
of them. Oh come on. Thanksgiving, Christmas, okay, whatever. Summer is
for screaming, and standing on top of cars, though. They're not for big
dinners and family bonding - they're about breaking away, and sucking
big fluffy clouds into your lungs, and wearing obnoxious sunglasses.
They're about promiscuous bathing attire, and french kisses in copious
amounts, and taking photographs of places you've never seen before.
They're about the misconception that with youth comes immunity. Why
have I never felt the golden immunity of youth? I want to feel it.
Theft, crazy theft! But not from stores, I don't steal from stores. I
just steal my mom's best picture frames, so that I can take out the
pictures of our dogs and put in pictures of me and my friends flouncing
around in Venice, or in front of Hotel Bethlehem.
A few good moments.
A few good people.
"Maybe I'll just keep growing younger with you, and you'll grow younger, too."
The ceremony, it was a lovely ceremony. Pomp and Circumstance was lovely, writing a harmony line to The Star Spangled Banner with S.J. was lovely, the fact that he called off work to come even though I insisted that
he not was lovely. I almost cried, twice. Once, when Curtis remarked on
how familiar and yet how far away all the bells and whistles of
childhood are........another time, after I had crossed the stage. As I
sat in contemplation, names rattling past.....I all of a sudden felt as
if I had accomplished something. I really felt it in my heart, really felt as if I had achieved,
and my eyes became watery. For years, I have had a problem with
genuinely believing that I have really completed anything of value. I
turned to the girl next to me and said,
"Why?"
"Oh, I don't know....you know...I mean, you know......"
She laughed at me, and said that she loved me.
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| | Posted 6/8/2006 12:33 AM - 2 Views - 8 eProps - 5 comments
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