| | madre madre madre,
you had once glown on walls, silver heels and nylons,
your sad stories are written in among my thoughts and i will never
forget your walks in the mud and trips and rocks, basket with books and
father
horrible
bulls chickens brothers dead
horrible
you were tortured and it's all you know. i scavenge your elegance and
grace, i snatch it up and study, copy. the way you drink that coffee,
black liquid burning your lips and caught so tight in your fingers,
those fingernails, your thinned, concentrated eyes as you line your
lips. that silk dress,
you can't imagine why you wore such a conservative wedding dress but i think you are so beautiful,
you cupped my face in your hands and it was linda linda linda linda
but you are so scared and you hate me, or don't have strength to love me;
cars and irons, pans stoves sockets children people crowding talking breathing suffocating -
i can't sleep anymore this summer and i lay perfectly awake and i hear
your snoring choke up, i hear your breathing stop and you are put on
pause, and i stare at my ceiling counting seconds until you breathe
again, abruptly raspy gasping air.
i've never been so fried in such an odd way, i lock my door and count
days and days, i am a cobra and i rock my persona in my arms and slowly keep time with time
once in conversation he said that maybe she was good and it got to her, it all got to her and she fell into the dark side,
maybe i think that's true because that's the only thing that makes sense to me,
she looks so different in those projections.
now she hates them.
she tells dad to take them down.
they're a special treat for me.
listening to elliott all day
like he's the only guy who understands
laying on the carpet nodding yea yea yea
thin ten person whisper
and i took the time to read his biography,
him tripping down cliffs and
writing great riffs.
felt emotionally sick most of the day
like i was going to vomit up my heart all over the carpet.
putting ink all over, calligraphy for good sir
drown it out
lazy, lazy
too expensive this
worthless that
too thin here too fat there
jealous worried better i/you/we don't understand
for some reason at the end of the day, it all didn't matter.
if i keep thinking about your words i'll die
and i have to survive.
wanna go deaf
,no, no more put downs.
someone's always coming around here trailing some new kill
says I seen your picture on a hundred dollar bill...
cuddle your hemingway to your chest when you curl in bed,
....add up all the cards left to play to zero...
and words, words feel damn good; something else for your head.
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| | Posted 8/10/2006 11:28 PM - 2 Views - 8 eProps - 4 comments
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